Part 3: I'm Not a Proverbs 31 Girl & That's Okay

Let’s be honest... the church world has made an entire personality out of the Proverbs 31 woman.

You’ll hear things like:

“She’s the blueprint.”

“She’s the standard.”

“She’s the woman every man prays for.”

And quietly, we start to believe…“If I’m not her, maybe I’m not enough.”

But let me remind you: Proverbs 31 is a poem, not a prerequisite. It’s wisdom, not a weight. And it’s meant to inspire, not imprison.

Becoming ≠ Performing

I’m not here to bash her. She’s honorable. Powerful. Respected. And clearly, she was doing her thing. But we forget, she didn’t become all that overnight. That woman had seasons. She had grit. She had grace for growth.

So why are we trying to perfect what God is still in the process of shaping?

I’m not married yet, but if I ever become a wife, I don’t want to enter marriage as a curated version of “her.” I want to show up as me... whole, honest, healing, and held together by grace.

Because the man for me? He won’t need me to perform Proverbs 31. He’ll love me for living in partnership with Christ, not just perfection in a passage.

What God Actually Values

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting,but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (v. 30)

That verse right there? That’s the heart of it all.

Not how early I wake up.

Not how clean my house is.

Not how “wifey material” I look on social media.

God is after my reverence, not my résumé.

He wants my faith, not my flawless routine.

He’s developing my character, not my Pinterest board.

If You Feel Like You’re Not “Her”, Take Heart

You don’t have to bake homemade bread, run a business, homeschool five kids, and wake up at 4am to be a woman of worth. You just have to stay connected to the one who gives you worth in the first place.

If you’re becoming the woman God’s called you to be with all your questions, imperfections, and bold, beautiful becoming - then sis… You’re right where you need to be.

You’re not falling short. You’re rising slowly. And that still counts.

So no, I’m not a Proverbs 31 girl. I’m a daughter of the King, becoming more like Jesus, and trusting that’s enough.

And honestly? That’s more than okay. That’s holy.