Part 2: I'm Not a Proverbs 31 Girl & That's Okay

Men often say they want a "Proverbs 31 woman" because that passage in the Bible paints an image of a woman who is strong, wise, hardworking, dignified, and deeply rooted in faith. On the surface, it's an admirable standard. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting a partner who embodies godly character. But let’s be honest: not every man who says this actually understands what he’s asking for.

Here’s why some men say they want a Proverbs 31 woman:

1. She's trustworthy and dependable.

“Her husband has full confidence in her” (v. 11).

Men want someone they can trust with their heart, future, home, and even their vulnerabilities... a partner who’s steady and loyal.

2. She's hardworking and capable.

“She works with eager hands… She considers a field and buys it” (v. 13, 16).

The Proverbs 31 woman is entrepreneurial and diligent. A lot of men admire women who are motivated, organized, and able to handle responsibilities.

3. She's nuturing and generous.

“She opens her arms to the poor” (v. 20).

She’s not just about her own success; she cares deeply for others. This speaks to a heart of compassion, something many godly men look for.

4. She's wise and emotionally mature.

“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue” (v. 26).

She’s not reckless with her words. She builds up rather than tears down. This kind of maturity is magnetic.

5. She honors God above all.

“A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (v. 30).

At the core of everything, she’s anchored in her relationship with God. That’s attractive to men who are trying to walk with God themselves.

But here's the tension...

A lot of men want a Proverbs 31 woman... but they’re not prepared to honor, protect, or partner with one.

The Proverbs 31 woman isn’t passive, soft-spoken, or waiting in the shadows. She’s active, bold, respected, and multi-dimensional. If a man says he wants her, he needs to be the kind of man who can champion her calling, celebrate her strength, and support her growth.

And let’s not ignore this part of the chapter: “Her husband is respected at the city gate” (v. 23)

That implies something powerful: she is not great because of her husband, she’s great alongside a man who is also walking in wisdom, leadership, and purpose. It’s a partnership of equals.

So why do men want a Proverbs 31 woman? Because she reflects strength, grace, and godliness.

But the real question is: Are they willing to become the kind of man a Proverbs 31 woman would want to walk with?

....That’s where things get real.

Because listen, we’re not out here becoming powerhouses in the kingdom just to shrink ourselves for someone who only read Proverbs 31 halfway through. Nah. If you want a woman of virtue, strength, and anointing, you better come correct.... because a Proverbs 31 woman doesn’t settle for halfway holy and emotionally unavailable.

She’s building businesses, blessing people, praying down heaven, and still making space for laughter and love. She’s not a trophy. She’s a whole testimony. So yes, we love the Proverbs 31 woman. But let’s not forget: she’s not just a "wife." She’s a force. And the right man? He won’t just admire her, he’ll match her.

When we start realizing our value isn’t tied to a mold, not even a biblical one misapplied, that’s when we start walking in real freedom. You don’t have to perform Proverbs 31 to be powerful. You just have to show up fully as you - full of purpose, full of grace, and full of God.

So the question isn’t “Where’s my Proverbs 31 girl?”

The question is: Are you a Proverbs 31 man?

Can you handle a woman who’s equal parts soft and steel? Can you honor her strength without competing with it?