Agreeing With the Truth While Living in the Tension

There’s a conversation that many Christians are afraid to have out loud... especially in church spaces, small groups, or comment sections. It’s the tension between what we know scripture says and what we’re still living out in real time.

So let me say this plainly: I know premarital sex is a sin.

I’m not confused. I’m not unaware. I’m not trying to re-interpret the Bible to fit my lifestyle or water down God’s Word to make myself feel better. The truth is the truth; even when it’s uncomfortable.

And still… I partake in it.

That sentence alone will make some people stop reading. Others will rush to correct me. But I think this tension is exactly where many believers actually live... whether we admit it or not.

Here’s what I’ve come to understand: acknowledging sin does not automatically mean immediate perfection. And struggling with obedience does not mean my walk with God is fake, weak, or unholy. Holiness has never been about having a spotless record. It’s about proximity to God.

There’s a difference between rebellion and wrestling. Between living in denial and living in process. I’m not celebrating sin, justifying it, or calling it obedience. I’m simply refusing to let shame tell me I’m disqualified from God’s presence because I’m still growing.

Jesus never waited for people to get it all together before he walked with them. He met them in their mess, not after it was cleaned up.

Sanctification is a journey.

It’s layered. It’s slow. It’s deeply personal. And it doesn’t look the same for everyone.

Sex matters in a relationship, but it is not the foundation it was ever meant to be built on. It can reveal chemistry and closeness, but it cannot carry commitment, sustain emotional safety, or guarantee longevity.

Before marriage, sex has the power to deepen connection... but it can also blur discernment. It can make a relationship feel more secure than it actually is, binding hearts before values, trust, and direction are fully aligned. The healthiest relationships aren’t defined by how quickly they become physical, but by how well two people learn to communicate, respect one another, and grow... sex or no sex. Because if a relationship cannot stand without sex, it likely won’t thrive with it.

Some people experience instant conviction and immediate change. Others experience conviction that unfolds over time. That doesn’t make one person more saved or more loved than the other. It just means God is working differently in different seasons.

What does make the walk holy is staying submitted... still praying, still seeking God, still allowing conviction to speak, still choosing him even when your obedience isn’t perfected yet.

Grace doesn’t mean sin doesn’t matter. And conviction doesn’t mean grace runs out.

Both can exist at the same time.

So yes, we can agree on the truth. We can agree that premarital sex is a sin. But we can also agree that my participation in it does not cancel my faith, revoke God’s love, or make my walk with Christ less sacred.

I am not finished. God is not done with me. And my journey with him is still holy... even in the tension.