The Other Virus of 2020: Gossip

One word.

Gossip.

If you type into Google what the word "gossip" means, it is defined as casual or unconstrained conversation reports about other people, typically invoking details that are not confirmed as being true. Basically gossip is saying anything about someone that you wouldn’t say directly to them.

Now this is a church blog- so guess what? YUP, it’s about gossip in the church. Imagine that?

The place where people come together to worship, is the same place where the same people that say they care for you... talk behind your back and misconstrue the truth. And of course, it’s not just my church. It’s all the churches. All of them. (Well maybe not ALLLLLL. But ya know, majority.)

I want it to be known that this doesn’t mean everyone at church talks behind your back, but it’s ALWAYS the older generation. Not everybody who is a boomer is like this though.

You know the ones I’m talking about.

The same ones that had an issue with me saying it’s OK to leave your childhood church. The same ones that have a bitter attitude. More specifically, the age range of 65-85.

Once again, not all are like this. There are a few good seeds out there.

What makes me angry is that it’s that age range vs. a 25 year old. This is the type of foolishness my age group should be doing. We should be the ones spreading rumors and “kiki-ing” it up over drinks. But believe it or not, we are the ones that will confront whoever is lying on them. So just know... I will confront you when I find out who is “speaking on my behalf.”

What also makes me angry is when grown adults talk about you and literally play whisper down the lane about your life- but they know nothing about you. They know of you, but not about you. They will talk mess behind your back, but will never talk to you directly about it to get the full story. Like if you are going to talk about aspects in my life, you might as well get the full story with the correct dates and facts. I would rather people spread the truth, than lies. But then again... I would rather people not talk about my life at all. It’s my life. It’s my business. It doesn’t concern the outside world at all. If you are concerned about something in my life, then speak with me on it. Like a what? An adult.

And another thing. Don’t talk to me like I’m a child. I pay bills so please come correct. And remember, you are coming to me about my life and what’s going on in my life, so don’t get upset because you don’t like my answer about what? My life. I don’t care whether you approve or disapprove.

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But here’s the thing. It’s a common occurrence in my church. Whenever I do something that is not up to par with them, instead of coming to me or even my parents (You know, the two people that gave me life. The two people that have a say in and on my life... Yeah, them)- They go to everybody else in the church. Deacons, Trustees, choir members, clergy... the list goes on. But they won’t just pick up the phone and call the source to voice their complaints or how they would word it, their “concerns”. But they have absolutely no issue calling everybody else.

I have three words for that behavior: Childish, pathetic and distressing.

Let me add- some will say what I’m doing right now is correlated with those three words. And I could agree with them, but let me say this. They already view me as a child and it’s hard for them to accept that I’m grown, I get it. I understand it. I truly do- But don’t come for my life and think I won’t say anything on it. Don’t speak on my behalf when I didn’t ask you too. Be grown and address the party or parties involved.

I’m not worried about who this will upset, because if it makes you upset- then you are a part of the issue. If it doesn’t make you upset and you can testify to this, welcome to the club- we meet every Thursday at 7pm and we provide snacks!

But let me say this... The church didn’t hurt me.

The congregation did.

Jesus still has my back & I will never turn my back on him. But that congregation is another story.

I said what I said.

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Throughout my years of going to church Sunday after Sunday, I have learned a lot about the Bible (duh), but I have learned a lot about humanity. For example, we don’t call gossip by it’s name. We like to call gossip by euphemisms like “sharing our concerns” or “venting to a brother or sister.” We gossip when we divulge unnecessary details in prayer requests as if God needs to be brought up to speed on the entire situation.

And I know I will get heat for this. But like people always say, “If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.” It’s my life so I’m ready for all the smoke. People notice the attitude, but not their actions that caused it. Interesting, right? That might have been a scientific equation for some of you so let me break it down.

It’s a cause and effect situation.

Cause = Spreading rumors about a person.

Effect = Said person getting mad and reacting.

Understand?

The cause happened. This is my effect. This is me mad. This is me reacting.

James 1:26 states, "Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless."

I have never considered myself religious. I have always stated that I consider myself spiritual. I grew up baptist, but I really just do my own thing. It came to a point where I was just attending church service because it was routine. I wasn't getting anything out of it. Until I started going to a different church.... (if you are new here, please read my Roots and Wings post).

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I have my close circle at my church. I trust my circle. I will never give them up. But if you think you are in my circle and I haven’t relayed that to you- you are not. If I don’t call you aunt, uncle, mom mom, pop pop, friend, sister, brother, mom, dad and/or cousin... you are not in my circle, respectfully. If I don’t talk to you on the phone on the daily or go out to eat with you and do activities outside of church... you are not in my circle, respectfully.

So how do we fix this? Maybe simply saying to the “nosy nellie” when they come to you to spread it some more or you overhear them- “Hey, have you spoken to them about this concern you have? Because I don’t think you should share this information if you’re not prepared to share it with them.” Because in my mind, you can’t say someone is sinning and yet, here you are sinning as well. Because that’s called a what? A hypocrite.

We can pray to help fix it. Prayer can't solely fix it, but it can help. We can talk to God and say "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." That is taken right from the text. Luke 23:34.

News flash: Gossip is a form of sin. The more you know.

Moral of the story... if you hear something about someone, do yourself a favor and call that person to get the full story before you go around spreading stories you have no business spreading.

But remember this- Play with me if you want to.

And that’s on Mary had a little lamb.