I'm Not One-Dimensional, and Neither Are You

If you asked me to describe my personality, I'd probably give you a relatively reasonable answer. I'm funny, outspoken, independent, a little dramatic when the situation calls for it (and sometimes when it doesn't), and I have a tendency to overthink just about everything. I like to plan, I like to know what's happening, and I like to believe I have at least some semblance of control over my life.

But apparently, if you ask ChatGPT to describe your personality based on years of conversations, you get a lineup of four fictional women who collectively have enough relationship drama, career ambitions, questionable decisions, and personality quirks to fill several television seasons.

My lineup? Joan Clayton, Olivia Pope, Issa Dee, and Samantha Jones. I can't even argue with it.

A Little Joan Clayton: The Romantic

Let's start with Joan. The woman who wants love, marriage, a family, a successful career, and approximately 47 things to fall into place before she can finally exhale.

I've always been someone who has an idea of what I want my life to look like. I think about the future. I think about marriage, children, relationships, and the kind of life I want to build. I'm intentional about the things that matter to me, sometimes to a fault. I can overthink a text message, analyze a conversation, and create an entire storyline in my head before the other person has even finished their day. But there's something about Joan's desire to have it all that I understand. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting a beautiful career, a loving relationship, a family, and a life that feels fulfilling. I also don't think we talk enough about how exhausting it can be to want those things while simultaneously trying to figure out how to get there.

A Little Olivia Pope: The Fixer

Then there's Olivia Pope. If something is wrong, I want to fix it. If something isn't working, I want to understand why. If there's a problem, I want to find a solution. And if I see something that could be better, I have a hard time pretending I don't see it.

This probably explains a lot about my professional life. I've spent years in childcare, leadership, and administration, and I've learned that sometimes you have to be willing to roll up your sleeves, advocate for your team, and have conversations that aren't necessarily comfortable.

But there's a downside to being the fixer. Sometimes you spend so much time trying to make things better for everyone else that you forget you're allowed to walk away from things that continuously require fixing. Not every problem needs to become my responsibility. Not every situation needs my intervention. And not everybody needs me to save them.... A lesson I'm still learning, by the way.

A Little Issa Dee: The Girl Just Trying to Figure It Out

Issa might be the most relatable of the four. She's funny, she's awkward, she's figuring things out, and sometimes she makes decisions that leave you wondering if she has spoken to a single friend before acting. I appreciate that kind of honesty because adulthood is not nearly as put together as we were promised it would be.

There's the version of me who writes about faith, personal growth, and navigating life as a Christian woman. And then there's the version of me who is texting her friends, laughing at something inappropriate, questioning a man's intentions, or wondering how a perfectly normal conversation somehow became a full-blown internal debate. Both women exist. Both are me.

There's something freeing about acknowledging that you can be a woman of faith and still be figuring things out. You can have wisdom in one area of your life and absolutely no idea what you're doing in another. Growth doesn't mean you suddenly become an expert at being human.

A Little Samantha Jones: The Woman Who Knows She's That Girl

And finally, Samantha. I'm not necessarily talking about every decision Samantha made. I'm talking about her confidence, her independence, her willingness to challenge expectations, and her refusal to believe that being a woman means shrinking yourself to make other people comfortable.

I think women sometimes receive conflicting messages about how we're supposed to exist. Be confident, but not too confident. Be attractive, but don't draw too much attention. Be independent, but don't intimidate anyone. Be a good Christian woman, but apparently make sure you fit everybody else's definition of what that looks like. I'm increasingly uninterested in that balancing act.

I can love God, enjoy my femininity, embrace my body, have opinions about relationships and sexuality, and still be a woman who takes her faith seriously. My confidence doesn't cancel out my Christianity. And my Christianity doesn't require me to pretend I'm someone I'm not.

And because apparently four fictional women weren't enough to capture my personality, we have to give an honorary mention to D.W. Read from Arthur. First of all, we share the same initials, so clearly this was meant to be. D.W. is opinionated, stubborn, hilariously dramatic, and has absolutely no problem letting people know when she's unimpressed. She has a little sass, a whole lot of confidence, and somehow always believes she's right. I see a little of myself in her ability to have an opinion about just about everything, occasionally be dramatic for no reason, and refuse to pretend I'm okay with something when I'm very clearly not. She's the reminder that you can be sweet and sensible while still having a little attitude. And sometimes you just have to make a face, say what you mean, and keep it moving. The matching initials are just the cherry on top.

So, which one am I really? Here's the thing: I don't think any one of these women completely describes me.

• I'm romantic like Joan, but I'm also learning that love shouldn't require me to lose myself.

• I'm a fixer like Olivia, but I'm learning that I don't have to carry everything.

• I'm figuring life out like Issa, and I'm finally becoming comfortable admitting that I don't have all the answers.

• And I've got a little (a lot) of Samantha in me, reminding me that I don't need permission to be confident, outspoken, or comfortable in my own skin.

• D.W. is basically my inner child with a microphone and absolutely no filter.

We're all a combination of different people, personalities, experiences, and seasons of life. The woman you were at 22 isn't the woman you are at 30. Maybe the things you once considered flaws are actually the things that make you who you are. I'm still a work in progress. I'm still learning, still growing, still occasionally overthinking things that probably don't deserve that much of my energy. But I'm also learning to appreciate the woman I'm becoming. And if that woman happens to be a little bit of Joan, Olivia, Issa, and Samantha? Well, somebody get me a television contract. ...I have always said my life would make a great movie.